“It’s not the past that hurts more, it’s the fact that I keep holding onto the past that hurts me more. It’s not what others do to me that hurts me, It’s me thinking they hurt me with what they did.”

-> Please start reading from part one of this post, so it makes sense.

#3 Take responsibility
Nothing is because of something. Everything is because of what you do. I know, it’s easy to say “you have the choice to let what others do to you let come through you or not”. But the following explanation is going to help you learn it.

If someone tells you that you are ugly, you have the choice, to either laugh or lock yourself into a room and cry about it. What others do to you doesn’t define who you are, it only reveals who they are.

“What comes out, is what’s inside.”

Take an orange and squeeze it, what comes out it always going to be nothing else but orange juice, and the same principle applies for you and other people too. (I got this example from Wayne Dyer though)

Observe people, they are the way they are to everybody, if it’s somebody that gets easily upset, that person is gonna be the same to many others too. I am a very calm person, regardless of whenever somebody delivers me bad news. I rather want to know the truth, but if I get upset, people will avoid telling me the truth. When people know that I am calm as long as they are honest, and I do get disappointed when people make up things, what do you think would they choose to do? Other people may get upset over bad news, thats why people avoid to be honest.

Simplified. “2 different people, same situation  = both react differently.”

#4 How to think positve
There is always ways to smile again. First fact is, every stuggle will make you grow. Reflect this to past experiences, the stronger the struggle, the stronger the comeback.

#5 Forgive.

Forgiveness is not done for others, but for yourself. So you can focus on things that move you forward, that make your future better, therefore you become happier. 

If you keep holding on, the person that’s hurting the most is nobody else but you. You can’t transfer your feelings to anybody. They can’t feel when you are hurt they can’t hear any of your thoughts, and they don’t care nor even think about how depressed you are. They are living as if nothing happened.

With forgiving, you don’t deny the bad deed of others. What you are doing is totally for yourself, you are not letting the bad deed of others affect you. If you drag that even along and allow them to hurt you, you let them win, because it was their intention to tear you down. So you would be doing no favor to yourself.

In case you still wish these people to be affected. You don’t need to do anything, because if these people would have self respect they would not even dare to do negative things. People that love themselves, are always concerned about solutions, wondering on how can they take this as a lesson, how can they grow and make it better next time.

Remember what I said before “What comes out, is what’s inside.” People that betray and talk negatively do so because it makes them feel better and it makes them feel as if they are standing above others, but they know they are not, that’s why their mistery of putting others down is never ending. They are already living a miserable life, of feeling unworthy, even if it doesn’t seem that way. IT IS. Keep staying with me, studying personal development and you will agree while learning alot about psychology too.

We all want the best for ourselves and the best you can do for yourself is to get over it as quickly as you can, you grow and become a greater person than you were.

You may feel like you don’t have the ability to get over it, or even forgive, but it’s not done with trying once or twice, you have to stay persistant and give it time.

Photo by Peter Kurdulija